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In order to begin engaging in the process of building an intimate relationship with people of varied and diverse backgrounds, which is the “spice of life”, we have to rid ourselves of ingrained prejudices.
There has always been prejudice and discrimination exhibited towards new immigrant groups in the U.S., primarily by the European American majority, and this still continues today. However it is now complicated and compounded by the lingering prejudices of White-identified, European Americans against African Americans and other minorities, by the “reverse prejudice” exhibited by African Americans towards European Americans and other minority groups, by the “internalized prejudice & racism” exhibited by African Americans towards their own community members (based on skin shade, economic & educational status, and other factors), and by prejudice towards African Americans brought by new Latin American, Asian, and even African immigrant groups (gained largely through the media and entertainment messaging broadcast from the U.S. to the world.) In other words, if you are a recent immigrant you have probably come with your own prejudices against Black-identified, African Americans, which you may or may not be aware of. And, having heard of the White, anti-immigrant sentiment, you may have developed a prejudice against all White Americans (even though it is only a vocal minority who are attacking you). So there is work to do to rid ourselves of these prejudices before we can ever successfully integrate and cooperate.
Prejudice, means “to unfairly pre-judge”, and discrimination, means “to unfairly single out”. Some examples include:
1) Someone is unfairly prejudged to be a criminal because of his appearance or culture, and is profiled and singled out by law enforcement and employers because of this prejudice.
2) If you believe that most Black men are violent criminals because you have seen them on TV portrayed that way, or perhaps you know of someone who has been robbed by a Black man ,or perhaps it happened to you—so every time you see a Black man you feel unsafe and take precautions—this is prejudice.
3) Some White-identified Americans have been unkind to you calling you names and telling you to go back to your country, and you now feel that all White Americans feel that way—that is a prejudice.
Prejudice and discrimination are basically caused by two factors:
Ignorance - of the facts that all human beings are essentially one race, that we have more similarities than differences, and that our differences are there to make us more pleasing, interesting, and beneficial to each other. On the other hand, each person is different and unique, so even making positive generalizations about any ethnic group may be a factor of this ignorance. (For example, “all tall Blacks play basketball” or “all Latinos play soccer and dance Salsa” are generalizations that may not be accurate.) So really the only generalization which is accurate and true is that we are all one race, the human race, and are therefore entitled to be treated as equals and “humanely” by each other. Also, when a few members of a cultural group do something that does not mean that everyone does it, good or bad. This accurate knowledge about our nature can be learned through both modern science and religion.
Fear - of our perceived differences rather than valuing the unique contributions of each, and also fear that the “other” will take what one has or feels entitled to. Also, fear of the unknown prevents us from getting to know our neighbors and discovering that we are all more alike than different. (These fears come from the lack of knowledge or ignorance of our essential human oneness, as outlined above, but also ignorance of the fact that God or the Universe provides enough of everything for all human beings to prosper and share. This can be overcome when we learn and develop “prosperity attitudes” vs. “scarcity attitudes”, and cooperate in what Dr. Martin Luther King called “a network of mutuality”.)
Many Americans of all backgrounds are kept or keep themselves ignorant and fearful through lack of adequate knowledge and education. In children, this results from improper or slanted education in school and lack of holistic spiritual education at home. In adults, this results from both faulty childhood training and having been seduced by a materialistic society into believing that we they have to spend most of their time acquiring more and more material things and property, so they don’t have enough remaining time and energy to investigate updated information and current affairs for themselves. Instead they rely on media sound bites, especially talk radio & TV, and internet blogs, which primarily promote a vested interest, one-sided view often based on prejudice, bias and hatred towards one or another racial, political or religious group. Sadly, even many American religious groups promote this unsound racial, political and religious intolerance and prejudice by not teaching the updated knowledge about our human nature and oneness which is available through modern science and religion.
Because of this ignorance and fear, myths are created about the target group of prejudice in order to dehumanize and marginalize its members, and to reinforce and provide a rationalization and excuse for the continued prejudice and discrimination against them. One example of this is labeling recent undocumented immigrants as “illegal immigrants” or “illegal aliens” when they were all invited here by our businesses and government as a source of inexpensive and highly productive labor. (If anyone broke the laws, we all did—all Americans-- by disregarding and effectively discarding the immigration laws for our own gain.) Another example of how these myths get started: If a recent Latino immigrant robs an African American or any American, then the victim and his circle might develop a prejudice which says “all Latinos are criminals”, or “all immigrants are criminals”, or “all undocumented immigrants are criminals”, or “all Latinos hate African Americans”.. These are all myths based on prejudices. (Note: Other such myths and prejudices commonly held by some European and African Americans towards Latin American immigrants will be outlined in Chapter 9, “Survival & Advancement for All Immigrants=All Americans.)
While everyone living in the U.S.A. has some ingrained prejudices as a result of growing up or being exposed to this environment the vast majority tries to treat everyone equally and with respect, and does not go about consciously expressing or trying to justify their prejudices towards others. However we often hear from the vocal minority who are the loudest and boldest in demonstrating and expressing their prejudices (i.e. their fears and ignorance), through the media, especially talk radio and TV, through the pressuring of elected officials to pass discriminatory anti-immigrant and anti-minority laws, and sometimes through acts of violence towards the object of their prejudices committed through vigilante groups, such as the KKK and the Minutemen. They are also usually the first and loudest to deny their prejudices, often using other hot-button, smoke-screen topics, like border security, rule of law, terrorism and job security, to skirt their real motives which were exposed by a famous conservative TV talk show host recently exposed when he said that they are involved in no less than a “cultural war” to retain White, European American dominance and control of this country.
Sometimes a formerly oppressed group which has arisen or is rising out of its oppression in a society takes on the negative and destructive roles and practices of its’ former oppressors, and, in turn, becomes the oppressor of its’ own people or other minority groups (a phenomena sometimes called “internalized racism or oppression”).This has happened, to some extent, in the African American community wherein some of its members, both in the leadership and lower ranks, have adopted the oppressive and prejudicial attitudes and tactics of their European American oppressors, and are committing both violent and white collar “Black on Black” crimes against their community. Two of the most notorious examples of this are “Gangster rap” music which glorifies urban crime and violence, and denigrates African American women and mothers, and the epidemic of “Black on Black” violent crime primarily in urban ghettoes. However it also takes place in corporate boardrooms, academic institutions, in all levels and offices of government, and in the divisive attitudes of some African American Christians & Churches towards African American Muslims and members of other Faiths.
However, though African Americans and all Americans have the responsibility to change these attitudes and behavior patterns over time, before we are too quick to judge the African American community for their issues outlined above, we have to fully study and understand the legacy of the “divide and conquer” and dehumanizing policies and tactics employed by the European American community through “Jim Crow” and slavery in the past, and, to some extent, still, through current laws and policies, to retain control by the White-identified majority. (In fact, one of the greatest fears expressed by some leaders of the European American, White-identified community, is that the African Americans, Latino immigrants, and other minorities, will unite and take control of this country, which may be one reason why they are apparently trying to turn African Americans against the Latin American immigrants.)
Every new immigrant group which comes to the U.S.A., including those from Latin America, Africa, and the Caribbean, brings an ingrained prejudice towards African Americans due to the European-American controlled media, entertainment industry, other multi-national corporations which they have experienced in their countries. And then, after arriving here and trying to become accepted by and assimilated into the dominant American society, they often unwittingly join in the chorus of prejudicial attitudes, statements and actions directed towards African Americans, thereby sparking and enabling the African Americans’ reverse-prejudice towards the new immigrants. In this way, prejudice and discrimination is spread like a virus, everyone is infected by it, the minorities remain disunited, and European American dominance is maintained. The only way for this cycle to be broken is for new immigrant groups, especially those from Latin America due to their size and influence, to break the chain of prejudice towards their new African American neighbors, to unite with them and all citizens of good will from every immigrant population, including European Americans, in order for each group to progress and integrate and help the U.S.A. progress as a united entity to achieve its’ great moral mission and destiny as the “melting pot” of the World.
By engaging in this process of eradicating prejudice you are not only helping yourselves to advance but you are helping build the U.S.A. and enabling it to fulfill the unfinished business which its Founding Fathers and such great American leaders as Abraham Lincoln and Dr. Martin Luther King envisioned and sacrificed their lives for—the establishment of Dr. King’s “Beloved Community” wherein people of every culture, religion and background would live in harmony and work together to advance their individual and collective interests, summarized in this quote from Dr. King:
“In a real sense all life is inter-related. All men are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be, and you can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. This is the inter-related structure of reality."
More tips on building an Intimate Relationship can be found at the website life-skill-coaching .
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