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There are several ways to get free relationship advice:
The website www.a1-life-skill-coaching.com offers free articles on various aspects of relationships from writers/coaches who have practiced building successful relationships for decades. (Go to www.a1-life-skill-coaching.com and click on the Articles section.)
The internet in general is also full of free informational resources, some of which are contained on this website.
When any dispute or crisis erupts in a relationship, it is helpful to find a trusted third party who will not take sides in the dispute but will listen objectively to all parties and will either serve as a facilitator, mediator or counselor (each role is defined below so you can decide which is best for your situation). Some examples of trusted third parties include: a trusted friend; a pastor or minister; a trusted family member.
- A counselor typically listens closely to all parties, reflects back or paraphrases what he has heard to confirm that he has in fact heard the disputed issues accurately, and then gives advice on actions which can be taken to resolve the dispute based on his own knowledge and experience.
- A mediator typically does the same first two steps as a counselor (listening and reflecting) however then she attempts through various direct or indirect methods to assist the disputing parties to come to an agreement or compromise on actions which can be taken to resolve the dispute.
- A facilitator also practices the first two steps of listening and reflection however he/she also employs the tool of “participatory consultation”, the goal of which is for all parties to arrive at an understanding of objective truths relating to the disputed issues by identifying and understanding both the spiritual and practical/scientific principles involved, and then agreeing on an action plan to address those issues.
“Participatory Consultation”, perhaps the newest of conflict resolution tools, has similar elements as the other tools of counseling and mediation but also has some distinctive characteristics:
- The facilitator’s goal is to enable all participants in the consultation to “see the light” through their own participation in the process and to arrive at a consensus.
- There is a deliberate attempt to uncover the objective spiritual and scientific principles involved and to use those principles as the basis of a solution, rather than relying on the counselor or mediator’s subjective experiences, or those of the participants or disputing parties.
- Because of the above principles and the acknowledgement that there is “my truth” or the way I perceive things, and then there is “the truth”, ego and attachment to the ideas expressed are minimized and when any idea or statement is submitted it is not owned by anyone and becomes the property of the group; however combined with frankness, love, dispassion and courtesy, are encouraged.
More free Relationship Advice and information on the process of “Participatory Consultation” can be found at A1-Life-Skill-Coaching including how one can get the book entitled “Consultation” by John Kolstoe. Use the comments section on our sign up page to request more information on how to get John Kolstoe’s book.
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